"Go Play!"

"Go play!" Remember your mother yelling that at you?

Today we are so busy, we say we don't have time to play. There's too much work to be done. Plus now we are anxious about this economy. Just adding to the stress.

This past week I was truly concerned about one client whose stress level is at an all-time high. It's evident in his face, his voice, the way he walks. It's affecting his relationships. While some stress is warranted, he is creating a lot of the stress for himself.

I asked him what he does to unwind. His answer was "pretty much nothing."

He is raising risks of stress-related illnesses such as high blood pressure or a heart attack. But he also is possibly damaging his brain--his cognitive abilities.

Science Says . . .

Roderick Gilkey and Clint Kilts at Emory wrote about how we need to exercise our brain, based on results of the latest in neuroscience research. Their article in Harvard Business Review (11/07) titled "Cognitive Fitness" cites play as a key way to exercise your brain.

Gilkey and Kilts write: "In adult life, play engages the prefrontal cortex, . . . nourishing our highest-level cognitive functions-those related to incentive and reward processing, goal and skill representation, mental imagery, self-knowledge, and memory, just to name a few. Play, therefore, improves your ability to reason and understand the world."

Furthermore, the article says, if play is stifled, "brainpower may actually decrease as it does in children with failure-to-thrive syndrome, a condition created by experientially deprived or abusive environments."

A Play Guide

How do we find time for play in this crazy world? Here's an exercise I found years ago..

Create a table with four columns and 10 rows. Label the table: Ways I Have Fun.

The first column is "2-5 minutes."
The second column is "5-30 minutes."
The third column is "30 minutes to a half day."
The fourth column is "a half day or more."

Here comes the work. Get yourself a cup of coffee; sit in a comfortable, quiet place; and challenge yourself to come up with examples of what play means to you in each column. Aim for at least five options in each column.

Post this near your work space, on your bathroom mirror, anywhere that you will be reminded that you need to play.

Start off small-2-5 minutes of play a day during the work week. Maybe on the weekend you can do a half-hour of something that is play. I mean PLAY, too. Just because you don't mind raking leaves doesn't mean that is play.

If you exercise regularly, just think about this as another form of exercise-this one for your brain.

If you want to learn more about the amazing things neuroscience research is learning about our brains and how we can use that information, check out "Get Out of Your Own Way: The 5 Keys to Surpassing Everyone's Expectations" by Robert K. Cooper.

Fire, Ready, Aim

I was talking with one client this week about the climate in his office. The economic slowdown is having some impact, he said, but they're still doing business and keeping people billable.

"There's some tension, for sure," Fred said. "You listen to all the dire media reports and news of layoffs at other firms--people are wary. On top of all that, it doesn't help when my office manager, Susan, screams at staff when anything goes wrong."

Say more, I said.

"Susan's interpersonal skills are definitely lacking," Fred said. "She sees things only from the financial side. If a project goes over budget, she lights into the project manager (PM). She really adds to the tension around here."

What's Going On

Looking at the situation in a little more detail, we realize Susan doesn't have the same perspective as the PM. She comes from a financial background. She looks at things in black and white-we made money, we lost money.

When they go over-budget on a job, Susan screams at the PM. He or she is the one responsible. And Susan is the one who has to report the bad financial news to the owner. She doesn't like being in that position, either.

Of course, the PM knows it isn't that simple. The PM realizes his success depends on the relationship with the client. Sometimes he'll do something extra to please the client and realize it will hurt the project budget.

At other times, the PM may not have budgeted enough time for tasks in the project.

Regardless of the situation, Susan screams at the PM (which others hear) and huffs back to her office. No communication takes place.
As Fred and I talked, we decided Susan needs some coaching. Her behavior is unprofessional and disruptive. Fred can't let her continue to get away with it.

A Plan for Susan

Here is the plan for Fred coaching Susan.

He confronts her on her behavior and how he wants to see it change. [If Fred is one of those folks who does not like conflict or to confront others, he needs to read Fierce Conversations by Susan Scott (no relation).]

1. Susan needs to learn to ask questions of the PM in a non-threatening manner and in a tone of voice appropriate for the office. Fred will have to give her a conversation opener she can use, such as:

"I saw that Project X ran over budget by $X,000. I am going to have to explain that to the CEO when we take a loss on that job. Would you help me understand what happened here?"

She does not want to say something like "Tell me what went wrong on this job"-too confrontational. She needs to gather information. "Can you help me understand" is one of the strongest forms of questions you can ask.

2. Susan needs to learn the business cycle so she understands engineering firms are in the relationship business. Coming from a financial or operational background, she doesn't really understand what "relationship business" means to Fred-networking, marketing, etc.

She needs to see figures related to repeat business (percentage and actual dollars), referrals, lost clients. Those figures will help her black and white thinking understand the gray world of relationships.

3. Susan also needs to understand how she comes across to others. People who behave like Susan tend to not realize that they leave a wake behind them, as it says in Fierce Conversations. Just like a boat that leaves a wake behind, everything Susan says and does has a ripple effect through the firm.

What other boats is she tipping over with her wake?

Susan needs to change from her "Fire, Ready, Aim" mentality to one where she gets ready mentally, has the conversation with the PM, then realizes she doesn't need to fire at all.

The Hawthorne Effect

Last week a client asked for ideas on how to handle her project team. Her team is working on a high profile project with tight deadlines. My client, the project manager, has to travel routinely for project team meetings at other sites.

She has learned that when she is not there, her staff eases up in their drive to get work done. She isn’t being critical—they work hard and do good work. She was just stymied in why they do that and what she can do about it.

My son, a psych major, equates it to when you have a substitute teacher. Kids act up. The pressure to perform is not as great with a substitute as with their regular teacher.

What’s at play here is the reverse of the Hawthorne Effect. The Hawthorne Effect says that productivity increases when workers know they are being observed. So, when the boss is away, the work pace slows down. It is natural.

Two key learning points come to mind here.

1. Ideas to Keep ‘em Going

If you the boss want to keep the pace going when you aren’t there, designate a second-in-command to check in with folks. The key is for your staff to know that they are being observed even though you aren’t there. You could rotate this role among the staff, so no one appears to be special. This is not micromanaging—it’s simply playing to human behavior. Let's hope you get better results than with a substitute teacher.

Another suggestion is to change your schedule so that you are out of the office on different days, not always the same days. For example, if you routinely meet with clients on Tuesdays and Thursdays, switch your appointments around some. Then staff won’t get lackadaisical about Tuesdays and Thursdays, because you just might be there.

2. Someone at the Top Cares

The Hawthorne Effect studies have documented that people perform better when someone is watching them. People today spend a lot of time at work. They require a sense of belonging, of being something bigger than just themselves. When they are part of something bigger, they are more effective.

While it may sound too warm and fuzzy, realize that when you pay attention to people, they do a better job. That doesn’t give you permission to micromanage them. Just acknowledge and observe them. It won't cost you a dime.

Millennials Managing Boomers

Last week I talked about characteristics of the Millennials, the young people you are hiring today. If you check last week’s post, you will see a great comment and additional info from one of our readers. Thank you, unidentified reader, for contributing.

This week, let’s explore a 24-year-old Millennial who has to manage a 55-year-old Boomer.

GUIDELINES FOR THE MILLENNIAL

• · Respect Boomers’ experience and use it. Ask them about the history of projects and relationships. Rely on their expertise.
• · Don’t worry about being talked down to. It’s hard for me to type that, but I’m sure that Boomers probably come across as patronizing when addressing a Millennial boss. The Boomer’s generation valued experience and time on the job. That won’t change overnight.
• · Prove you can learn. Engage a Boomer as a confidante or mentor in his or her area of expertise. Lead by learning.
• · Use your natural collaborative tendencies and engage Boomers as fellow teammates. Help them work together. Your understanding of teamwork is very different from theirs.
• · Don’t assume their way is like yours. My part-time Millennial staffer just accused me of trying to make something harder than it needs to be. I won’t admit to TRYING to make it harder, but that was the effect. The Millennial is right.

GUIDELINES FOR THE BOOMER

• · Let go of your ego. Think about all the performance reviews you don’t have to deal with because you’re NOT the boss. Think about how much better you can sleep at night, because the Millennial boss has the problems.
• · Stop parenting. If you want to give advice, ask permission first. Something along the line of “Is it OK if I share with you what I’m thinking?” Or “Do you want to hear how I would handle that?”
• · Don’t dig in your heels and refuse to change. Business and life are about constant change these days. Deal with it. Solve problems rather than create them.
• · Offer the benefit of your experience, but do so in private. This is similar to “stop parenting.” Don’t embarrass your Millennial boss by correcting him, based on your experience, in front of others. You may be right, but spectators will think you’re a fill-in-the-blank. And it isn’t good.

JUST FOR FUN

I’d like to do a quick survey of how you use (or don’t) social networking sites. Please take 30 seconds and answer this survey. This one is anonymous. We will share results.

3-question social networking survey or paste into your URL

http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.aspx?sm=CtQ8DBfhUdpRTgp6Wj74og_3d_3d

Thanks. See you next week.